[The camera focuses on me, delivering a serious look to emphasize the gravity of going viral.] Text on screen: "If you want to go viral, do exactly this..." [Cut to me dramatically sipping coffee, scrolling through my phone, and then realizing the truth.] “Oh wait—nope. That didn’t work.” [The scene shifts to me using exaggerated hand gestures like a TikTok guru.] “Okay, so here’s the secret: post at 3:47 AM on a full moon. Use that trending sound while holding a pineapple—in your left hand, upside down. I’m telling you—give it a try!” [I say this with a playful grin, gesturing wildly to emphasize the ridiculousness.] [Cut back to me, staring again, deadpan.] “Still didn’t work? Weird. It’s almost like it doesn’t matter how much effort you put into it, right?” [Final shot, a thoughtful pause.] “Truth is? It’s the algorithm’s world. We’re just glitching in it.” [An optional text overlay appears.] “Pro tip: sacrifice a ring light to the TikTok gods. Might help.” [Screen fades to black.]