**Title: Useless Constab and the Haunting Mystery** *Setting: A deserted alleyway on a stormy night.* **[Useless Constab]** "Why am I always assigned to this eerie place? Just look at my blue t-shirt—hardly intimidating, right?" *(He adjusts his star-shaped glasses, peering into the darkness.)* **[Passerby]** "Seriously, Useless? That’s the vibe you went for? But hey, did you hear that?" *(A strange noise echoes through the alley.)* **[Useless Constab]** "Yeah! It sounded like... a whisper? Maybe I should call for backup?" *(He nervously glances around, gripping his flashlight tightly.)* **[Passerby]** "Or you could just check it out! What’s the worst that could happen?" *(They lean closer, curiosity piqued.)* **[Useless Constab]** "Alright, but if I get eaten by a ghost, I’m haunting you next!" *(He approaches an old, abandoned building.)* "Hello? Is anyone there?" **[Figure]** "Help me... I’m trapped!" *(A shadowy figure appears at the window, sending Useless jumping back.)* **[Useless Constab]** "Whoa! Why always me? I’m just Useless Constab, not a ghostbuster!" *(He almost drops his flashlight in shock.)* **[Figure]** "You think you’re useless? Maybe you’re the key to my escape after all..." *(Useless stares, heart racing.)* **[Useless Constab]** "Wait, what? I mean, how could I help you? I’m literally wearing a blue t-shirt!"