Dear Husband I can hear the pain in your words. I don’t doubt that you’ve walked through some incredibly lonely years, and I truly believe that your search for a deeper relationship with God is sincere. You sound like someone who wants to grow, and who’s trying to leave the past behind to find peace and healing. That matters. But I need to say something hard—with care and honesty. Following Jesus isn’t just about becoming a better man on your own terms. It’s also about facing the truth with humility and making peace with those we’ve hurt—not by demanding forgiveness, but by acknowledging the damage and giving others space to heal. It’s not just that you “didn’t have a helper.” The truth is: you weren’t a helper either. You stepped away from your family. You committed adultery multiple times. That’s not something that can just be forgotten because you're now religious. God forgives us—but people still live with the pain of what we did. You say you missed out on fatherhood. I believe that hurts deeply. But I wonder: Have your children missed out on their father even more? Sixteen years is a long time to go without being seen, protected, or nurtured by a parent. Healing starts when we center their pain, not ours. If you truly want to follow Jesus, I encourage you to not just ask God for mercy—but to take steps toward accountability: Write a letter of apology to your children and their mother. Acknowledge what happened without blame or excuses. Ask how you can support healing—even if it means just listening. Be willing to rebuild trust slowly, or accept that some may not be ready. Redemption is possible—but it doesn’t erase the past. It allows us to live differently because of it. I hope you continue to seek God not just for comfort, but for courage—to do the hard work of healing what was broken, even if it hurts. Grace isn’t about forgetting—it’s about transforming. That’s what I hope for you. With honesty and hope, Your wife